June 5, 2026

Relationships modify behaviors. I noticed this several years into my marriage, in particular. I never used to read in bed before turning out the lights. I was accustomed to crawling into bed, turning out the lights, and waiting to drift to sleep. I noticed that my wife, however, would keep her light on and read for a while before sleeping. This was not my habit. However, after years of watching her to that and listening to her share with me what she was reading, something changed in me. I began to read when I got into bed before turning out the lights. Now, after 24 years of marriage, I read every night before bed.

Relationships are the strongest motivators to altered behaviors. Time spent with people, observing them, learning from them, listening to them… these are the things that have the potential to powerfully change who we are. Jesus understood this better than anyone.

Matthew 11:28-30

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

From the interactions he had to the stories he told, Jesus’s entire posture of life was inviting people to come to him. It was always an invitation to come, see, learn, listen, eat, and rest.

Over the past 18 months at White Oak, we’ve talked and studied and learned a lot about being with Jesus, learning from him, and doing the things he did. This way of approaching Jesus is quite different from what many of us are used to. We tend to believe and behave as if behavior modification is the central issue for Jesus and the goal of the Chrisitan life. It’s not. Often at the end of our sermons at White Oak, we’ll challenge our church family to pick up a practice or rhythm that will help us apply a biblical truth to our lives. But those practices, rhythms, and behaviors are not about becoming better, more obedient, or more moral people. Those things may do that, but that’s not the goal!

The goal is relationship with Jesus. You’ll notice that Jesus rarely engages with people and demands that they pray more, read their Bible more, or that they need to be more moral for their lives to be better. He doesn’t shy away from things like that, however, Jesus most often invites people to spend time with him, to learn from him, and to build trust in him. Those things are not done through behaviors… those things are done through quality time over the long-haul with Jesus. Relationship modifies behaviors.

So, when you consider the rhythms, practices, and behaviors you’re pursuing as a Christian to apply biblical truths to your life… you and I must consider what the outcome is that we are pursuing. Is it that we would become more obedient Christians? Or is it that we want to spend time more and more with Jesus’s heart?

Connecting your time and relational energy to spending time with God is the most crucial part of your developing relationship with him. Paul tells us that we are to grow in our knowledge of Christ so that we grow in his fullness (Ephesians 4:13). Our goal is to learn from him via the time we spend with him so that we experience his nature flowing through and back out of us. The divine nature of God is living in you as a believer in Jesus. The very presence of God is in you. You are in him. Unified. New identity. New reality. This whole “Christianity” thing isn’t a set of values or beliefs it’s a posture of being in relationship with The Divine. Rest in that. Pursue him through rhythms that connect you to Him. In time, your behavior will be modified. The divine in you flowing out of you.

This summer, take up the rhythms and enjoy your time with your Heavenly Father.

With you,

Nathan

Nathan Hinkle

Lead Pastor

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